im confused with my own feelings...
i just dont understand why i cried like crazy when you told me that....
why?

Morning!:)

it's so not me to blog in the morning...hahahah
eversince exams start,im too lazy to go out...
stay at home all day....

i just hope this exams are over soon... :)
and i still want a rollercoaster ride.... :)

I'm sick of playing all of these games
Its not bout taking sides
when I looked in the mirror,
it didn't deliver, it hurt enough to think that I could stop
admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind
sorry but I got to be strong and leave you behind

-Jordin Sparks,Tattoo...


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i hate physical abuse..
but sometimes i think it's better than emotional abuse...

physical abuse..u feel the pain...u cry and cry..and u shout to stop one day when u cant take it anymore...
u flight or fight..

emotional abuse...u feel hurt..u cry and cry...u keep it to yourself because u think others will never understand u...
u've try to stop it...but u always blame yourself for being in situations that u cant speak up for yourself....after u had enough,u tend to think of abusing yourself physically because u want take away the real pain...
be it cutting wrist,smoking,drinking or anything...
n after that,u feel 'numb'...it's like as if u are a sponge and u absorb all emotional hurt because u know u cant do anything...u keep everything..
when some people were concern about u,u juz say 'it's ok..everything is fine...'
u dont have the courage to confront those people who have hurt u....and always blame yourself wrong....

how are u going to speak up?....finally....
the pain will always be there....
is walk away the best answer?

i've been listening to 'Makin Aku Cinta' by krisdayanti and her husband the whole day...
i just find the song is super sweet...
and i didnt even bother to open my book..
"GREAT"!!

i cant sleep...i cant continue to study...
i just feel so restless....now,i fully understand what does it mean by 'rabbit trying to escape from the lungs.'....
all i want right now is to talk...
yes,just talk...
i know this sounds really stupid and pathetic....
but all i want to do right now is talk...speak up what's in my mind....
but who??
who wants to listen to me??
it's bothering me....
family have gone to sleep..and friends...it's kinda late to call them right now...
all i have now is this comp...
i hate all this....

----------------------------------------------------
attachment is over..at last...
IMH and KKH....
both attachment have opened up my eyes...really big..about what's going on in reality..

to me,IMH patients are the nicest people...but people outside have different kinds of view about them..
how irony...
u know another thing what i like about them is their honesty..
they will never lie about their feelings and thoughts...
while the people around us,do you ever think they really honest about what they feel and think about you??
well,you may disagree with me...
but why we gossip? think again....

and KKH...finally...
it's really sad for me....
i've witness abortion...and i couldnt sleep well for days....
maybe it's because i love babies..alot...
and seeing the foetus...just really make me cry...
how i wish i can save them..
but i know i've got no rights...because it's the mother's choice....
i've realise those people who cant have children,keep trying hard to conceive..
while others who can,keep 'killing' their unborn child...


like it or not...
well,this is reality...