hey~im back again..haiz~nowadaes my life is juz full of stress..haiz~urgh~..abt everytin..abt skool,np n life..somtymes i wonder y cant i decide wat i wanna be..haiz~y r ppl decidin wat i shud do??..

abt np..haiz~..get staff sergeant rank 2dae..me hapi??..ya..quite coz im not interested wif de rank..anywae im not committed wif np anymore..haiz~..dey take moz of my time..haiz~..juz now,we had parade..b4 dat,we had GOH trainin...urgh~penat sey..everydae we had trainin sey..urgh~...haiz~..moz of de time i really feel dat i wanna quit..i don care wheder it's GOH or np..i feel dat dey r a burden in my life..i juz wanna live peacefully sey..haiz~..freaklar..somtymes i juz wish dat im in de art club..coz dat's wat im interested in..haiz~..juz now,in de morn,i feel dat i wanna break down..i manage to cry abit coz i quickly wipe my tears b4 ppl realise it..haiz~im really fedup wif everytin sey..haiz~

abt skool..since dey introduced de hm rm system..i feel more ok..i mean i don feel quite tired..but den,dey lyk to giv laz min announcement..haiz~hope dey can improve to make our skool better..haiz~..but den,i juz don noe wen i wan to revise coz tiz wk..i hav 3 tests..physics,ss n amaths..haiz~i really wanna pass my amaths sey..i really hope i can do it..ss..haiz~how i wish dat it's source based but den,it's not..it's essay..haiz~

abt family..haiz~im so stress..im really under-pressure..i tot dat after all de stress i had in skool..i can relax at home..but den,im not...my mom alwaes pressure to choose police force as my career..she alwaes tryin to kritik abt my passion sey..haiz~she alwaes tryin to influence me..fedup sey..y?y?..it's my life wad..y ppl hav to decide wat i hav to do ??..klar..i noe she's tryin her bez for me..i noe it's for my future..but den,seriozly tinkin,i really don wan to regret in future..if i don do wat i wanna do in future,maeb i'll regret it later..haiz~..tkpelar..i noe dat she wans me to be hapi in future..but den..haiz~

klar..dat's all..i hope i'll be ok in tiz few daes..haiz~

hey~im back..hehe...3 more daes..really cant wait 4 my bdae...hehe..swit sixteen..

u noe wat?..i really miz our mar camp..haiz~i wish i cud rewind back everytin..but den,lyk wat i used to sae..swit memo only happen once..haiz~hmm..let's recap back..

120305...
went to skool at 7 am..but feelin really tired as if i didnt hav much sleep..haiz~den,after doin de admin..de cadets had ice-breaker games..while de rest of ncos prepared 4 de logistic 4 de land expe..den,at 1100,de ncos went to kent ridge n had lunch der..urgh~i had backache..it really hurts..after we reach der,we went strait to our station..so me left alone wif jun hao..tried to break de silence by askin him lame ques..hehe...coz i juz don noe wat to talk to him..mine was de laz station so i had to wait plenty of time 4 de cadets to reach to my station..so i slept..lucky me,jun hao didnt sleep but he stay awake n observe wheder de cadets r comin or not..haiz~after we reach back to skool, me n rau had to take care of cadets durin deir dinner..haiz~too bad..de rest washup n ate dinner..haiz~kesian kiter..but after dat,me n rau ate our dinner n bathe..*relieve*..im so freshie...hehe..me help de rest wen de cadets played candle war..den,we went to sleep..at 1st,we didnt sleep..we had snacks but den,ms koh caught us...but den,we still con'd eatin..hehe..we had a veri gd sleep coz we didnt hav to stay awake 4 sentry duty...hehe

130305
gd mornin~while de cadets r havin deir pt..de games member had to prepare wif de logistics...quite tirin..didnt hav much breakfast..after finish wif my station..i help sya to fill de balloons wif water..hehe..kesian sya..coz she's scared of balloons..den,de games started..me was wif faris,jia min n emily..dat was de time i was bingit wif faris..freakin him..dahlar tk tlg org to adjuz wif de strings/web..i juz kept quiet wen he played wif de ball of twine..den,1 of de grups came..i was bz..but den,faris intructed em wat dey r gonna do..or how dey gonna play de game..mine was startrek..wen,i conducted de game..i was quite shock bcoz it was diff frm wat i used to tell de rest of de grups..i ask faris..he sae it was still de same..i was really mad..im de ic but he didnt even tell me dat he had change de intructions..geram sey...sape tk bingit..den,i realise dat de 6 of som ncos r missin..but den,i juz kept quiet n con'd to do my job..i really cant stand irzuan..die ni pandai kai mulut but don noe how to use his hands..i mean he kept shoutin at de cadets wen dey r carryin de tables n benches to de parade square..urgh~i juz don noe y..but i don lyk it..but den,i juz ignore him n help de cadets to carry..he juz don hav de heart to help de cadets tinkin dat he is big..tink highly of himself..blahlar..u noe wat??..im really proud of nizam..seriozly ..me tink dat he had done an excellent job..seriozly speakin.he is much2 better den yana..everytin went really smooth..he can do backgrd n front job..he is really gd..np shud need ppl lyk nizam hu is alwaes calm n quiet but did his job very well..i sae tiz not bcoz i hate her or wat..but tiz is a fact..den,we gals went to bathe..hehe..we really had fun..laughin out loud..hehe..de 6 of us..im so hapi..we had campfire..all of us giler2..esp me n iyliee..we r lyk twins..hehe ape je...at nite..we had nite walk..me,khid,ah qing n han chih..khid tk abis2 tdo..but den,me let him to sleep for haf n hr or more..at 1st it's quite scary bcoz it's dark but den,everytin went ok...

140305
we gals tot we wake up abit late but luckily we r not..had to wait 4 de boys but lazly,we carry on wif pt..did it wif de gals..ater we finish pt den de boys camedown..dey had gd scoldin frm ira..i juz hope dey wud remember dat we actually mean it wat we sae..den,prize presentation..after,dat dey all sabo de bez female n male campers..hehe..but den,we get scoldin frm mr ong for makin de floor wet..haiz~after dat,me went home n sleep..haiz~so tired..

so i tink dat's all..hehe..

Bagai Bunga Seroja Dan
Namamu Intan
Menghiasi Tasik Air Biru
Itulah Hatiku
Riang Bersama Hembusan Bayu
Dan Daun-Daun
Serta Riak Tasik Damai
Itulah Perasaanku
Bersamamu
Bagai Impian Jelma
Di Alam Nyata
Dan Seroja Bergerak
Lemah Gemalai Bagai Penari
Melintuk Liukkan
Jari Jemari Serta Langkah
Dan Gerak Lembut Dengan Wajah Ayu
Menarik Renungan
Memikat Perasaan
Itulah Kau Intan...

hey~im back again...well..2dae juz sux..confirm + chop..
1stly..gi skool mcm biase..we get yrbk..hehe..mepek sey gambar..esp de np pics..penat2 kitorg posh..but den,dey put de usual pic..lyk wat we do durin our activites..borin sey...den,on de wae to hawker centre..saw dat guy..he's wif his fren under de blok..dah lame sey tk nampak die...makin hensem sey die..tk bedek..hehe..

hmm..talkin abt np..urgh~i hate...urgh~ball bebual world syiall...i mean she talk as if sume org dgr je..lyk her voice is not dat loud..urgh~wateva..but den,me kesiankn matair die sey..yalar,,i noelar she's bz..but den,de matair is at one corner..urgh~biarknlar..wateva..hu m i wanna judge ppl's relationship??..wateva ar ada~but den,im really not hapi abt de debrief..dorg bebual world sampai buat kitorg confused n bingit..yalar..1stly dey sae dorg nk tukar de stations..den..alih2..dorg nk tukar grupins 4 de land expe..huh?im not hapi abt it ar..coz im ok wif my grup n station..eventhough do,re,mi,so n la noe how much i don lyk dat station..de canopy walk..but den,me tawakal jelar..really ar buat aku bingit..esp de bighead..nk step die yg takin in-charge of de camp je..mepek ar die..tk tau nk buat grupins..jgn buatlar..menyusahkn org lagik ade..mepek ar..urgh~watevalar...den..dorg ade miscommunication..dorg discuss depan kitorg..buat kite mcm idiot..dorg ingat kite tkde keje..nk tgk dorg discuss je??watevalar..at laz..i was put wif ching keong..mepek ar..how m i suppose to communicate wif him if slame ni aku tk penah ckp nagn die??watevalar~urgh~tkpelar ada..gasak dorg ar..mls nk gado..watevalar..tadi..sume org bingit syaill..esp mas,ira,sya,rau,me n de restlar..den,alih2 han kiat mrh..mepek syiall..asl die mrh kite??kitorg tkde buat pape sey..de 3 heads r de 1 hu hav miscommunication..die mepek sey..bknnyer nk tegur dorg ke..ni nk mrhkn de idiots yg ngah bingit n tk tau pape..
phew~nasib baik illie tkde..kalau die ade,mesti die peng giler nyer..confirm + chop..hehe..nasib baik..

b4 debrief..nizam ask me..wheder im ok or not..huh??tiz is de 2nd time he ask me..he sae me slalu moody n sad..huh??bile mase sey..hmm..maeb bcoz im tired..coz tk cukup rest..maeb..m i ok??..if not,wat's rong wif me??haiz~enthlar..i juz donnoelar...watevalar..

haiz~sok ade mendaki..den,kene gi kent ridge..haiz~tkpelar ada..gi je..dahlar..dat's all..